A Commercial Message, From The Mind Of Grimm
2003-10-19, at 6:53 p.m.
There's a nice environmental commercial for Dawn dishwashing detergent...have you seen it? It's the one where the duck got caught in the oil spill, and the emergency workers are washing it with Dawn, so it can live. Then the duck, much happier with all the sludge off its feathers, is released into the wild.
But imagine, if you will...the kindly veterinarian, so patiently washing off all of the oil from the poor, helpless duck. This person obviously loves animals, and right at this moment, loves the poor duck most of all. The duck, after all, is in distress...and needs the vet's help.
So, painstakingly, the kind man washes each feather clean of oil and sludge. His assistants look on, smiling, as he does this tedious chore - a chore made less boring by the fact that this poor animal will now live a good and healthy life.
After he has finished washing all the oil off the duck, the vet looks at his assistants and says, "Well, boys, there's a job well done. You guys load her in the crate. I gotta take a leak, and then we'll take her out to the lake and release her. I'll meet you boys at the truck."
The assistants prepare the transport crate, as the vet heads for the restroom. Then, gently, they pick up the duck, being careful not to hurt or scare her. They take her to the crate...but then, an impulse strikes one of them. He nudges the other, and whispers in his ear. The other assistant bursts out laughing, and says, "I dare you!" Smiling, the first assistant takes a small packet from his pocket, tears it open, and feeds the contents to the duck. He throws the packet on the floor. Then they place the duck in its transport crate, and take the crate out to the vet's truck.
A little while later, the vet is standing beside the lake. He places the transport crate on the edge of the lake, opens the door, and coaxes the duck out into the water. "Go, little friend. Have a good life."
Immediately, the duck feels water and freedom. It runs and flaps, building up liftoff speed. Unfortunately, it's also building up internal pressure.
The vet, shading his eyes, looks after the duck. It takes off...and then the 'snack' the assistants fed to it earlier takes full effect. As the duck rises into the air...it suddenly explodes.
A little while later, back at headquarters, a very shaken vet is telling the story to his assistants. "I just don't know what happened," he says, running his hands through his hair. "It just blew up."
"That's very sad, sir," says the second assistant. He catches the eye of the first assistant, who is looking at the floor...then he, too, looks down and sees the forgotten packet on the floor. He takes the vet by the arm, and says, "Why don't we go into the office and try to forget about it, sir?" He leads the distraught vet away. Behind them, the first assistant leans down, picks up the packet, and stares at it for a minute. Then, smirking, he puts the packet into his pocket. As he pulls his hand from his pocket, though, the packet flutters from it, unnoticed, to the floor. It lies there on the floor as he walks away. So innocent looking...with the words "Alka Seltzer" printed on the front...
-end commercial-
%%commentscount%% comments so far
I am feeling:
Mr. Grimm's Fairy Tales
The Last Man On Earth
A Bargain In Rhymes
Desert Damnation
A Merry Little Christmas
A Commercial Message...
A House Divided
Last Five Grimmspeaks:
- - 2004-03-22
Grimm's 200th Entry - 2004-01-14
From Annie - 2003-12-08
Grimmsville Reborn - 2003-11-30
Mr. Grimm's Special Drink - 2003-11-29
